Sophie from Destress Lab

Tales of Alchemists: Sophie from Destress Lab

In Stories of Alchemists we interview inspiring women who took a step back from their daily lives to reflect on what really matters to them. With passion and purpose, they now follow their heart’s desires. Over the past year, we met Sophie van Aanholt, who runs Destress Lab, a meditation platform. We talked about her past and how she came up with the idea to start Destress Lab. Sophie worked in the financial sector for over 15 years and during this period she experienced a burnout. Even after she recovered, she noticed that her patience was running out faster and that she didn’t enjoy life as much as she used to. This was the moment she decided to do something about it. She describes herself as hyperactive and never thought meditation would be her thing. In her search for inner peace and freedom, she followed a Vinyasa yoga teacher training and then came across a meditation training in Santa Monica that she felt was a perfect fit for her: simple and accessible.

Can you tell us a little more about yourself and your upbringing?

"I grew up with my parents and sister in the south of France. I have ADHD, but at the time we didn't know that. To them I was just a kid with a lot of energy and I was lucky that my parents found a way to channel that energy. They encouraged me to find a way to use that energy, in sports, so that I could focus on other things, like school. I had a pretty religious upbringing, which opened a door for me to spirituality. And because both my parents were expats in a way, my need to leave my hometown was also triggered. Now, when I go back to France, I feel at home; when I go to Greece and Cyprus - where my grandparents were from - I feel at home, and here in the Netherlands I feel at home too. I am more of a citizen of the world than I feel attached to a specific place or country. I receive from every place I visit and I also leave a piece of my heart everywhere. There are good things everywhere, no matter where we are, and it's great to discover them. Of course, there are always things we don’t like, but once we reach the point of acceptance and surrender, we start to appreciate things as they are. That goes for almost everything we do. When we start something new, we often experience a kind of resistance, and that comes in many forms. When I moved to the Netherlands, it was getting used to the weather, the different mentality and habits. Now I find the Dutch so down to earth, effective and direct, which creates space for freedom. I love it.”

How would you describe your morning ritual for a balanced and positive start to the day?

"I start my day with meditation. It's my home. It's not the dreamy idea of ​​meditation, but meditation adapted to real daily life, with two young children. My teacher, davidji, is the founder of the RPM technique: Rise, Pee, Meditate and Beditation. At the moment, it's the easiest way for me to create space for my morning practice, and I think it can work for everyone. When you get out of bed and start doing the daily activities, chances are we're not going to stop and sit down to meditate. So, I start my day by sitting against my headboard in bed and I meditate for 15-20 minutes. For me, it's really important to have an intention and ask myself: How do I want to feel today? What intention will my heart carry for this day? I have two young children, and they can challenge me sometimes. I have to repeat things ten times because they are looking for boundaries. Of course, I'm not perfect, and I get angry sometimes. But now, when I feel it coming, I remind myself of my intention: Okay, today is about staying calm, finding connection, or feeling love, or whatever I chose to do this morning. It creates space for me to take a breath and choose a mindful response. This works with everything, especially ourselves. It’s about creating time and space to listen to ourselves, not to ignore that we’re tired or hungry or in pain. When I practice yoga or meditation, I do it to practice self-love, not to achieve anything. You see, the line is so thin here because of course I want to improve my practice, but I have to do it from a place of love and not force my body to do something. With meditation, I’ve learned to observe myself, my internal dialogue, and the energy that it creates. It changes everything. This may sound a little airy-fairy, but it’s not. It’s really physics. Everything is energy, even our thoughts.”

What is the biggest lesson you have learned since starting on this path?

"Trust in myself. Trust in my truth. Trust is always here, it's inside each of us. It's just that we grow up and learn to question everything, and our painful experiences can leave us anchored in doubt. Learning to trust and have self-confidence is a gift to yourself, but also to the outside world. It certainly was for me, because self-doubt and hesitation were clouding my energy and preventing me from opening up and sharing what I wanted to share with the world. Trusting and believing in myself changed my energy. And I discovered that when you start to change your energy, everything around you starts to shift: people and circumstances. I became a different person. I just turned 40 and it took me quite a while to figure this out, but I think the younger generation is starting to realize this even earlier. It's a beautiful thing, and I see a big change in the world."

What is a revelation you've had in the past 5 years?

"I've had a lot! I have an epiphany every day! [laughs] You know, one of the greatest things about meditation is that it's so simple. No need to sit cross-legged for three hours. It's just taking a moment to sit down and create some space and silence. We all have an inner self, an intuition, but we can't hear it without the space, without the silence. Meditation has seriously changed my life, and a lot of people I meet now have no idea that I have ADHD. Like a lot of people, I used to be running around all the time, feeling stressed and rushed. I had a busy job, multiple appointments, I wanted to go to the gym, and I wanted to be present for my kids. If I got stressed, my kids got stressed. I plead guilty. So really, by holding this intention to create a moment of silence and stillness, I was finally able to slow down. That's when the change happened. It made me understand that who I was up until that point wasn't going to get me where I wanted to be. I had to create the change, and space and silence let me feel what I needed. My intuition led me to this new version of myself. Everyone has their own way of doing that. For me it’s meditation, for others it might be walking outside in nature. But it’s about turning off the noise, especially the noise that’s in our heads.”

Besides sitting for meditation, at what times do you apply your practices?

"Always! [laughs] That's what meditation is about. A lot of people think of meditation as something mystical; seeing colors, hearing voices, seeing entities falling from the sky, and having out-of-body experiences. Of course, that can happen. But most of the time, it doesn't. It's just you and your breath. Meditation practice is about bringing your attention back and forth. Our brains are fascinating! They have the ability to physically change and adapt, so when we repeatedly engage in a behavior, we get better at it. That's called neuroplasticity. There are a lot of medical studies on meditation. Modern science has even shown that it can slow the aging process. For example, the part of the brain responsible for memory and executive decision-making shrinks as we age, but scientific studies show that 50-year-olds who meditate regularly have as much gray matter in that area of ​​the brain as 25-year-olds who don't meditate. Isn't that amazing?"

What is the next step you would like to take in this?

"My biggest dream is to have a physical pop-up meditation studio, where meditation is taught in a way that is adapted to our modern lives. A place with a variety of great local teachers, and teachers from all over the world who come by. Every teacher is different and brings their heart and energy to a class; therefore, every teacher brings something different. We are all different, our needs vary from day to day, and so does our meditation practice. So, I hope to welcome many teachers into this studio, so that we can reach many, many people. I believe that everyone can benefit from meditation. In the United States, meditation and breathwork have reached the same popularity that yoga has reached here. It is used in business, medicine, law enforcement, and the military. My teacher, davidji, has even taught marines how to stay cool in difficult situations. That is my goal: a space where everyone feels welcome, an inclusive practice. I don't want it to be just for spiritual people. Because it really isn't. Everyone can meditate and experience the benefits. The benefits of meditation are not only visible when we sit and meditate. They are visible afterwards when we are awake. Meditation trains us to hold that space, that calmness, and to carry it with us throughout the day. In our thoughts, our conversations, and our actions. It feels so good to be relaxed, and everyone deserves to feel that way. I am committed to sharing meditation and reaching as many people as possible, and I truly believe that this is the way we can make the world a better place. When we are relaxed and happy, we automatically radiate that to the world around us.

At Destress Lab, Sophie teaches a wide range of meditation classes with a no-nonsense approach.
Try meditation with her at www.destress-lab.com
Sophie wears ​​Blouse Ren | Top Indra | Sweater Fawn"